I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t write on my blog anymore unless a friend keeps bugging me about it, eager to read what else I have to say. So, after my best friend’s persistent reminding, here’s another post, albeit a reluctant one. Perhaps it also helps that she has a Master’s in Journalism from Northwestern, so the fact that she wants to read what I write is quite flattering.
More and more, I find myself hardcore struggling with my adulthood, at an age that I used to believe was a mature one, five, ten years ago. And here I was, thinking I could have a blog that is informative and helpful to other millennials, only to realize now that I myself need so much help.
Wow… I really honestly have no idea what to write. -_-
Hm. On relationships… I’ve been going through some experiences that have brought about some realizations in me.
I wish someone could have told me that it’s better to start a serious relationship when you’re at a stable place in life, financially, maturity-wise, and just everything. If I had known earlier, I may have considered entering a relationship maybe 2 years down the line.. If only my fiance and I were a couple years older, I believe many difficulties could have been avoided, simply because there wouldn’t be the instability in our individual lives that would be a strain on the relationship.
But, we live and we learn.
My significant other is in grad school, and will graduate with debt. I just barely entered the workforce, and have yet to pay off my student loans. Thankfully I at least don’t have credit card debt. Whew.
He’s busy and tired, like, all the time. I feel lost and unstable, like, all the time. We are not at our “best,” due to the stage in life we’re at. And it’s definitely not our fault. Blame it on time, and probably our physiology and lack of human experience.
We both had the goal of marriage when entering this relationship. But for some reason, God brought us together at the most awkward time in our lives. So here we are, struggling with one another’s instabilities. Meanwhile, our friends who have been working for some time have been getting married one by one.
How long we have to wait to get married will be dependent on his finishing of his rigorous program, and on my getting a stable job to prepare myself financially, so that these extra stress-inducing things would not creep into our marriage. And it’s taken time for me to realize, to get to that point will take time.
Definitely is a test for me, being the impatient person I am. But over time, I’ve been realizing more and more that time only goes by faster and faster. It’s crazy how time flies. So, waiting for the right time is definitely worth it – I’d much rather start a marriage in a positive, mature way.
If anything, being in this serious relationship is like looking into a mirror and being exposed of all my defects and how unprepared I am to start my own family. As discouraging as it is, I am beginning to come to terms with this realization. And I pray that the Lord will grow in both me and in him to prepare us for the rest of our lives.