Yes, I feel the need to write a post on this topic so I’m willing to break out of my clean one-word blog post title format that I had established so nicely already.
I’ve realized you can pretty much characterize men as a whole with certain defining characteristics, unless they are an anomaly. While I do not like politics or manipulation, and would hate to live in a way governed by such things, I’ve found that whether you like it or not, your relationship will probably improve if you learn certain general men-traits and learn to bear with them and suck it up and get used to it.
- Men need to be challenged – It’s true, they need a challenge, which is why so many chase after “hard to get” women, and I still find this very stupid. Personally I don’t understand why they can’t just appreciate women who fully appreciate and love them. It’s like if you show too much affection and admiration for them, they lose interest in you, because they already have your attention. It’s not a challenge anymore.
- Men need space – I guess this goes along with the whole “challenge” thing. If men need space, perhaps a woman’s excessive expression of interest is invasive to this unspoken but absolutely necessary “space” that is needed. It’s as if men have this exact amount of desire that is not allowed to be fully satisfied – if it is satisfied, it can only be done so at perfectly spaced out intervals to meet their perfectly fulfilling timeline. If their desire is reciprocated with more than what is enough, instead of appreciating what they DO have, many of them tend to distance themselves because it doesn’t fit into their “space.” So women need to learn to deal with that. That’s life. Women can find other things to make themselves happy other than with ungrateful men.
- Men like (and need) confident, independent women – That’s right. They usually aren’t interested in women who feel sorry for themselves, or who are always dependent on others (e.g. parents or SO’s) for emotional and even financial support. Yes, men need women to help make them feel like MEN, but they cannot tolerate women who don’t know how to take care of themselves properly as a normal adult human being. They like women who have their act together – career, finances, basic daily living (cooking, cleaning, whatever) – by the way I’m talking about men who are worth spending time with, who actually take relationships seriously and want to find a lifelong mate. If a woman cannot be stable in her emotions, or at least know how to effectively MANAGE her emotions/PMS/etc. so that it’s bearable, then she will be too much of a burden for a man to handle, no matter how strong he may be. Because after all, men need adequate space/alone time.
So moral of the story is: don’t be needy, get your own act together so your life doesn’t depend on another person. Of course, there’s open and transparent communication in healthy relationships but the points I just mentioned still very much hold true. I am learning how to be in a healthy relationship as I write this blog post. I hope this is not considered as talking behind my boyfriend’s back… I really do love him. I’m also PMSing..